By Delilah

Tonight’s Delilah’s dilemma is from Kay,  who has been married for 17 years, has a 5 year old son.  A few years ago she and her husband started having problems.  He was unfaithful and they are now divorced.  Now he is living with the other woman and they have a child together.  All of a sudden out of the blue he is texting his ex-wife saying, ” I blew it”

Delilah’s Advice: “He did blow it Kay, He blew it big-time”Kay. Does that mean you can’t forgive him? No  You have to forgive him,  you have to forgive him for your sake and for your peace of mind and your sons sake.  If you don’t forgive him and hold on to that bitterness, anger and pain it will eat you alive,  but forgiveness does not mean reconciliation, it means you no longer hold him to a debt that he rightfully owes you Reconciliation, now that’s another story if you still love him, and clearly still do, and if he is willing to do the hard work of giving honest and figuring out why he made this left turn on the road, then there is a chance that you could reconcile.  Nobody is perfect and we’re all human and we all make mistakes and it was something clearly going on in his mind and in his heart and instead of reaching out to you, he foolishly reached out to somebody else.  It’s tragic, but it’s not the end of the world.  It’s happened since time began and will happen until time eternal probably so if you can work together maybe your future is back together, but if you can’t and you need to move on, give yourself permission to love him and still move on.  Nowhere is it written that you have to stop feeling something for someone who was a part of your life for almost two decades you’re not going to stop feeling for him, or connecting to him or loving him since he’s your son’s father but you can move on and love again and put the love that you have for him in a special place in your heart and realize it’s not meant to be.  Good  luck and God Bless  -D

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Seattle , Washington 98116

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