By Jon Wiederhorn
Katy Perry has spoken candidly about her struggles with alcohol and depression and even admitted that she has thought about suicide.
“I wrote a song about [suicide],” she said during a teary talk with Dr. Siri Sat Nam Singh. “I feel ashamed that I would have those thoughts, feel that low and that depressed.”
The revelations came over the weekend during a four-day-long reality show-style live stream, promote her new album Witness.
Not all of the event was confessional and revelatory. The live stream also depicted Perry practicing yoga, meeting guests like celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay and sleeping after a long, draining day.
But the most personal moments came during her talk with Singh.
“I have been in therapy for five years, she said at the beginning of the session. “It’s changed my life. Usually, everything is very confidential in therapy. Everybody’s like, ‘I could never tell my deepest, darkest secrets to anyone.’ And we swallow them and we keep them and they become petrified. And actually, you know, the things that you fear, or whatever your secrets are, that’s why therapy’s amazing. And also things you don’t even know that you have [come out in therapy, including] traumas from childhood.”
Perry also admitted that part of the thrill of taking on the star role of Katy Perry is leaving behind her former self Katheryn Hudson and becoming this larger-than-life alter ego.
“It’s more of a facade than a… [But] that’s the point of this whole thing, she said. “If people can see I’m just like them then they can dream just as big. I’m a bit more nerdy than everybody thinks I am, I’m a big goofball. The fantasy of Katheryn went into Katy and made this bigger than life personality.”
Still, she admitted that she enjoys the moments when she can escape the spotlight and return to her former self.
“That’s what I’m trying to do is trying to be seen as Katheryn Hudson sometimes — well a lot of times. Katheryn comes out and plays when I’m with my sister and my family when I don’t have to take came of that situation. When I can just rest and relax and fall and surrender that’s when Katheryn gets to fall out.”