Mary's Delilah Dilemma

June 26, 2018
Delilah Dilemma

Premiere Radio Networks


Tonight's Delilah Dilemma is from a mother who 25 years ago made a painful decision to place her son for adoption, she divorced his father.  The son was placed for adoption and she and her daughter carried on.  Her daughter is now an adult, and wants to get in touch with her half brother and her stepfather.

Mary, your daughter sounds like she's filled with compassion and love and she wants to see if there's a chance to have a relationship with these people.  Did she miss out on having a brother and a stepfather of coarse she did.  They weren’t there. But it sounds like they weren’t there for a  reason as you had to make some tough choices and that's the reality of life all of us have to make tough choices at one time or another and in doing so we realize that those tough choices have implications.  The fact that your daughter wants to reach out in love is a good thing and yes, she could be rejected.  It sounds like your ex husband has been emotionally unavailable.  He’s a broken unit and if you can explain that to your daughter and she can understand and accept him how he is, then good for her, good for you.  If she is hanging onto the hope that  suddenly he will change and become emotionally available and present and caring and compassionate, that's probably not going to happen at this point in life, but your son who was placed for adoption hopefully had good life and hopefully is very loved and I’ll bet will feel blessed to know he has a  1/2 sister out there and that he is thought about by you every day.  That would be my best guess!  So if you go into this situation you and your daughter, with no expectations.  Not thinking this is what I want to get out of this, but instead saying this is what I hope to put into this, I’m not doing this to get something in return but I'm searching for these people to share my love, then I would encourage you to do that. -D