Daughter Wants Meet Brother Put Up For Adoption

October 12, 2019

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Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a mother who 25 years ago made a painful decision to place her son for adoption.  She divorced his father, the son of was placed for adoption and she and her daughter carried on.  Her daughter is now an adult and wanting to get in touch with her half brother and her stepfather.

Delilah:  Mary, your daughter sounds like she is filled with compassion and love and she wants to see if there's a chance to have a relationship with them.  Did she miss out on having a brother and a stepfather?  Of course she did!  They were not there, but it sounds like there were good reasons. You had to make some some tough choices and that's the reality of life.  All of us have to make tough choices at one time or another and in doing so we realized that those tough choices have implications.  But the fact that your daughter wants to reach out is a good thing.  And yes, she could be rejected.  It sounds like your ex husband is emotionally unavailable hes a broken spirit and I if you explain that to your daughter and she could understand him and accept him how he is, then good for her.  But if she is hanging on to the hope that suddenly he will change and become emotionally available, in present and caring and compassionate, that's probably not going to happen at this point but your son who was placed for adoption hopefully had a good life and hopefully is very loved. I bet he would be so blessed to find out that he has a half sister out there and he is thought about by you..everyday.  That would be my best guess.  So if you go into this situation, you and your daughter with no expectations, not thinking this is what I want to get out of this, but instead saying this is what I hope to put into this, I'm not doing this to get something in return but I'm searching for these people to share my love with....I would encourage you to do that.-D